A Lazy Wednesday Afternoon

The other day, a friend and I were talking about how life can drastically be changed by things that can happen on a lazy Tuesday afternoon. We were talking about things with global implications such as a hurricane hitting Florida, two countries going to war, those newsworthy stories that can affect a large population. They usually happen on a lazy Tuesday afternoon when nobody expects them, when we're busy enjoying the sunshine, out shopping, or sleeping in. Those things can happen to us at a personal level as well. Those events that can change the direction of our life forever.


Mine came, not on a Tuesday, but a lazy Wednesday afternoon. Just after lunch in fact. My boss had called while I was at lunch. I was home, so I did hear the phone ring, but I was having lunch with my family, so I let it ring to voice mail. I called back and that was when he informed me that the company was not getting in enough work to support me and that they had to let me go.


Done. Door closed. Life changed. As simple and quick as that.


I can't say that it wasn't unexpected. My projects have dwindled over the past few months. Communications with the home office were sparse. And I just had that feeling. Back in June, I had this thought of what would I do if I lost my job. So I created a plan. And I started to act on that plan.


It became apparent that there were things I wanted to do and I could only do them if I left my, then, current employer. Unfortunately, I didn't act fast enough and didn't have my full plan in place before I was unceremoniously dumped. My wife and I have been working on a few projects of our own. Not all of them are complete, so stay tuned for updates. Here is what we have ready:


My Wife has been working on hand-made crafts for the past year. Starting with all-season wreaths and home decor items and now designing and creating unique jewelry. You can find her creations at Golden Flower Creations. She currently uses Etsy to sell her crafts but, we will soon be changing that so we can target a more precise audience. She will be adding new products to her site daily, so check back often. She's also becoming a blog-maven with her Zenventures blog and she's also a featured blogger for Working Mother. She also has more surprises in store, so stay tuned.


As for me, I've been creating and writing software applications for almost 20 years! I love the challenge and the satisfaction of a completed project. I also love the flexibility of working at home on my own schedule so I can watch our daughter grow up and be accessible to my family when needed. I currently enjoy developing applications for the web, using all the latest languages, tools and gadgets that make the internet a fun and interesting place. I also realize that not everyone needs a full time developer on their staff and only need such talents for certain projects. It is with all of that in mind that I created Seven Stars Technology. A place where I can showcase my freelance development work and a place to create industry-specific and general use websites, tools and applications.


I'll be honest with you. We are not in a great financial situation. Times will be tough for us for the foreseeable future. But I know we'll be OK. We have incredible and generous friends, a supporting family and there is fantastic opportunities for all of us. If you happen to know someone (or know someone who knows someone ... maybe even Kevin Bacon himself :-)) who could use some help with their website or a custom web or desktop application or anyone who is looking for unique home decor or jewelry items, let us know.

I Want A New Papa

Note: I was asked to write an article for The Peaceful Dragon newsletter. I've reprinted the article here for posterity.

Earlier this year, my daughter (who was three at the time) and I were having an argument about the cleanliness of her room. She was adamant about not wanting to clean her room because she couldn't. I was adamant about her cleaning her room because she should. Either way, it ended in tears (hers, not mine) and her storming into my office declaring, "I want a new Papa!" and then storming off to the living room to cry. I guess her room was too messy. Moments later, she comes back to my office still sobbing. I looked at her and asked, "Do you still want a new Papa?" She looked at me and between the sobs she said, "No, he would be just as difficult." I was stunned and I almost fell out of my chair in hysterical laughter. I asked her to repeat herself to make sure I heard correctly and so that I wouldn't make her cry further by laughing at her. I'm not sure if I was stunned because she didn't want me to be her Papa or that I was being taught a life lesson by a three year old. Probably a bit of both. I got over the former (she has told my wife that she wants a new Mama), but I'm still stunned (and impressed) over the latter.

How many of us go through life wanting something more, something different? Thinking that our lives would be better if only we had that red sports car, a new husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, parents, new shoes, that little black dress, that silk shirt, and/or the latest and greatest widget, gadget or thing-a-ma-bob! Or how about in our own practice? We'd be better if we could remember our forms, have this or that body type, or if our partners were shorter, taller, skinnier, or fatter we could execute this or that technique much better. We become so attached to the outcome of what we want, we lose sight of the moment.

In the Ch'an (Zen) tradition, expecting to be satisfied by the want, desire, or need is what creates suffering and stress. Notice I didn't say the actual want, desire, or need was the culprit. It's the expectation of the outcome that creates the suffering or stress. You can want, desire or even think you need ice cream. But, as long as your life isn't driven by the need for ice cream, or the expectation of having ice cream, you will not experience suffering or stress if you don't get the ice cream. We can also take attachment to the extreme of addiction. Desiring the outcome of something so much, that we will destroy ourselves, steal from our neighbors, or even kill in cold blood just to attain it. We have many addictions; some serious (drugs, alcohol, nicotine) and some not so serious (caffeine, food, television). It's not that we really want the cigarettes, the drugs, or to sit in front of the idiot box. It's the outcome of doing those things that we desire and expect. The sooner we realize that expecting an outcome leads to our suffering and stress, the better our lives will become.

My daughter wanted the outcome of not cleaning her room so bad, she wanted a new Papa. Or, was she just being a typical three year old? I'd like to think my daughter has an advanced understanding of life, the universe and everything, but maybe not. Not too long after that episode, we had the same argument and again she stated "I want a new Papa!" Maybe she's telling me that I need to be less attached to the idea of her having a clean bedroom.

Time Enough For Nothing

Every month, my Sifu sends out a monthly lesson. Each lesson contains an assignment to be done by each student and returned back to him by the end of the month. This was my response to his assignment: "Write a paragraph explaining whether you feel you have enough time in your day, and why."

Do I have enough time in my day?

Hmm, well from a purely scientific point of view, I have 24 hours - the time it takes the Earth to rotate 1 revolution around it's axis. I physically can't have any more time no matter how much I demand (or think I need) it. I also can't have any less time. We all have 24 hours in a day - no more and no less.

If you look at the usable time in a day, the time you have between waking up and going to sleep, that is totally in my control (what an illusion that is!) but still limited by the 24 hours in a day. I can get up really early and go to bed very late, or even stay awake for the entire 24 hours, but that would catch up to me eventually and I would have to sleep.

In reality though, it seems that there isn't enough time in the day. It seems there is always something to do and seemingly never enough time to do it. But, that is less to do with not having enough time in the day and more to do with not using the time we all have efficiently. And that is an entirely different question.

I'd like to share my favorite quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "Time is an illusion. Lunch time doubly so."

Happy Children's Day

Last night, my daughter was making a Mother's Day card for my wife. After she was done, she asked: "When is it going to be Happy Children's Day?"

Test?

Umm ... test!